Becoming a parent is a blessing … but we all know there’s a bit of a curse in there, too. No matter how many of those signs with corny sayings about how much we love our children we buy, we will never erase the fact that kids can be a pain. This is especially true when it comes to the “terrible twos.”
I am an attorney, but I’m also a parent. My twins, Alex and Benny, turned two this month, and I know firsthand what it’s like dealing with children during that cute but trying time. I wanted to share a bit of my experience and the tips I’ve received or learned through trial and error (a lot of the latter).
Kids Have Bigger Emotions Than They Have Words
Toddlers are generally able to speak and articulate some words by the time they hit two, but that’s nothing compared to how they are feeling. They are experiencing the world through a fresh pair of eyes and receiving an overload of new experiences and information. Their big feelings and small words will drive them into madness and can be frustrating for both the child and the parent..
When your child is “Big Mad”, acknowledge their feelings with words and actions. Doing nothing or ignoring them when they do not have the ability to express how they are feeling or what they are wanting, isn’t going to help anyone (and it’s probably going to result in a tantrum in the middle of the check-out line). Comforting them and helping them navigate those big feelings while being patient will mean the world to them. We’ve all been so emotionally drained that we literally just can’t – and that’s what our kids in the terrible twos are experiencing all the time.
Allow Yourself Some Space
“Be patient.” I just said that two sentences ago, and I know how absolutely impossible that can be at times. You don’t need to be this model, patient parent at all times of the day. Instead of letting things boil over and compounding the issue, remember that you have the right and ability to just walk away.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, it may be best for you and your children to just walk away and take time to just feel on your own. Of course, your child will probably waddle after you in their little size six feet like a shadow … But you’re an adult and can figure out how to safely cage them in while you gather your composure and reset. (DISCLAIMER: the term “cage” is meant figuratively and shall not be construed otherwise. Placing your child in a cage may subject you to CPS involvement and/or criminal prosecution).
Work Together
Teamwork makes the dream work. This goes for parenting and the relationship you have with your child. If you are in a two-parent household, nobody should be able to skirt the responsibility of being a parent. Rely on each other to fill in the gaps where you just can’t handle what is going on.
If you’re a single parent, remember to take time for yourself and reach out to friends and family for help when you’re feeling overwhelmed. It takes a village to raise a child, and everyone’s village is different. What’s important is the love and support that are provided to the parent and the child.
When it comes to children, you have to meet them halfway sometimes. No is a powerful word, but so is yes. They are learning what they like and don’t like, and working together with them to figure out their issues is as rewarding as it is mind-numbingly awful. Remember, it is just a phase.
Let your toddler know you understand them and are here for them. When they’re screaming in the car at the top of their lungs because they want “Wheels on the Bus” for the one millionth time that day but you just need some normal radio, it’s OK to say “No”. Acknowledging that you understand what they are wanting and then repeating “No” or “Not now” will eventually be understood, and the frustration of the inability to communicate will be lessened. I can’t promise that the repetitive screaming of “BUS!!” won’t stop, but hang in there! They will learn to appreciate that you have the words and ability that they haven’t quite mastered yet and will hopefully build that vocabulary sooner rather than later. After all, asking your two-year-old child to read this article would be a complete waste of everyone’s time, but they are still feeling a lot of that exhaustion and confusion we all feel as we navigate our own lives. You are their lifeline.
At Dawn King Law Group, we genuinely care and believe in Texas families. We understand the frustration that comes with starting, growing, and being a family. That’s why we serve Texas families in legal matters and estate planning matters. When you need to work with a law firm that cares and will bring you personal attention and honest advice, contact us.