It’s almost that time of year. You might have that crazy friend that’s been playing Christmas music since July, but we’re truly nearing the holiday season. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the New Year are right around the corner.
For families, this is a time to come together – in many cases letting bygones be bygones for the sake of everyone else. Of course, that’s a lot easier said than done for some because those bygones look a lot different in certain cases.
For co-parents, it’s important to make the most out of this time of year. Santa isn’t going to deliver the solutions down your chimney for you – but the courts will if you and your ex aren’t able to come to an agreement about who gets the kids during what holidays. We want to help spread some holiday cheer by helping you make the most out of this holiday season with your family.
Courts default to the standard possession schedule
First and foremost, if you and your ex aren’t able to meet in the middle (let’s be honest, that’s flat out impossible sometimes) then the courts will make the move for you. Under a “standard possession schedule” for the holidays, one parent will get all of Thanksgiving break and then each parent will split part of Christmas break.
This may be amicable for both parties and may not necessitate further discussions about your schedules. However, if one or both parents wants to make adjustments then it’s important to be flexible.
Flexibility is key
You knew your ex enough to have a child or multiple children with them. You may be aware of family traditions – both for your own family and your ex’s. If your family traditionally throws a large Thanksgiving celebration while your ex’s family prefers Christmas (or vice versa) then this may be a simple solution for everyone.
If one family doesn’t generally have many traditions but the other does then maybe being flexible with that schedule could be in the best interests of your children. You’ll still have time with them one way or the other, but the flexibility you give today should, ideally, be reciprocated in the future. Custody and visitation aren’t a game of keeping score, but the court will certainly note the behaviors of each parent.
Your kids care about memories, not dates
To be blunt, too many parents care way too much about dates on the calendar. We’re here to tell you it’s not that serious. Traditions are traditions, but the best interests of your child should always be kept in mind.
Your child’s best interests are likely more aligned with having two parents who aren’t constantly fighting over dates on the calendar. Years from now, our children will remember the memories made during the holidays and not the actual date that those memories were made. In fact, your child probably won’t mind having multiple Christmases and Thanksgivings (maybe just go light on the pie for second Thanksgiving, your kids aren’t Hobbits).
Bonus: odd holiday schedules tire the little ones
Running around and having a bunch of holiday celebrations tires us all out. The same is true for your kids. You might be able to get away with a little extra time napping on the couch or taking it easy with your kids if they’re on their second holiday celebration of the weekend.
We’d be lying to ourselves if we said we don’t all cherish the moments when things slow down and our kids aren’t a match away from setting the house on fire. When you work with Attorney Dawn King, you’ll always get the honest truth. If you need help getting ahead of the holiday schedule troubles with your co-parent or think your time with your kids is being neglected, set up a meeting with our team online.