We could start this off with a handful of inspirational quotes about how it’s better to “have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,” but if you’re here you’ve probably already scrolled through dozens of those on Pinterest and Etsy. The truth is love hurts sometimes, and sometimes it hurts too much to carry on.
So, if you’ve reached the point of no return and want to prepare yourself for divorce, we’re here for you. There’s a lot of noise, negative attention, and bad advice on the internet if you’re willing to go out and look, but I want to make sure you know what the next steps in your process will look like. Once you’re ready for a divorce, it’s time to start protecting the future you want in life.
Gather documents
The first thing any divorce attorney will ask you for is documentation. This will include a litany of items such as:
- Retirement Accounts
- Bank statements (including accounts you’re named on and not named on)
- Credit card information
- Other documentation proving the value of your marital estate
This will create a paper trail that leads to the financial freedom you’re going to want and need in the coming months. When you gather these documents, you make the process easier on yourself instead of trying to solve your divorce like you tried to solve your marriage: by bickering with your spouse.
Cut out excess
Your ex may have put the “ex” in “excess,” but it’s important to be smart with spending in the coming months. This can be one of the hardest steps and you’ll find a ton of advice online telling you to go out and “do you.” While self-care is extremely important to make sure you’re mentally strong through this process, you also have to recognize the possibility that your income may need to support multiple households.
If you’re the “breadwinner” in the relationship, you may need to pay temporary support to your spouse to maintain the status quo during the divorce process and, if you have children, be prepared to make child support payments as well.
It’s also possible you’ll need to find a new place to stay while also still providing for the necessities back at the home you shared with your spouse. These are all considerations you should have as you curtail spending and preserve your future financial freedom and stability.
Dodge shoddy advice
The moment the people around you hear about your divorce you’re probably going to be bombarded with advice and anecdotes. Family, friends, that random guy that had a crush on you in your junior year of college that now has three pet iguanas … basically everyone. People will come out of the woodworks with anecdotes about their first or third divorce.
This advice along with all the advice on the internet comes from a good place, but it’s important to sift through the noise. You know yourself the best and you know your situation the best. Don’t let other people tell you how to talk to your own kids about divorce (unless, of course, it’s a child therapist). Don’t let strangers convince themselves they know your situation better than you do.
The best self-care you can give yourself through this process is to be honest with yourself and seek channels that you know you can rely on. Those lifelong friends, those family members that have been there through everything, and those people who have shown to be reliable in times of need. Those are the people and places you should rely on the most.
Choose the right attorney
You’re going to be working with your attorney often. If you’ve ever seen the Netflix movie “Marriage Story,” you saw how Laura Dern’s character became so close with her client during their divorce. While your attorney might not end up being your best friend, they’re going to be your legal partner through the divorce process.
Attorney Dawn King’s experience as both a lawyer and a mediator in family law issues can be beneficial to you as you seek powerful results in your divorce. Contact our offices today and begin your journey to a new start.